The Experience Miracles Podcast

Behavior Specialist Mom Shares What FINALLY Worked

Aug 6, 2024

When Behavior Strategies Stop Working: A Behavior Specialist Mom Finds the Missing Piece

Episode 32 — Experience Miracles Podcast | Host: Dr. Tony Ebel, DC, CACCP — Pediatric Chiropractor & Founder of PX Docs | Published: August 6, 2024 | Duration: 37 min Guest: Teresa — School Social Worker, Behavior Specialist & School Administrator

Key Takeaways

  • Children who know self-regulation strategies but consistently fail to apply them may not have a behavioral deficit or be making a “choice” — they may have an underlying Nervous System Dysregulation that makes regulation neurologically impossible, regardless of how well-taught the strategies are.
  • Xander’s bedtime routine dropped from nearly two hours to 20 minutes within his first two weeks of Neurologically-Focused Chiropractic Care — one of the earliest and most telling signs that his nervous system was beginning to regulate.
  • Physical symptoms like dark circles, eczema, constipation, and chronic ear infections are not separate, unrelated issues. They are expressions of the same dysregulated nervous system — and they often resolve as nervous system function improves.
  • The neurodevelopmental sequence matters: sleep dysregulation appears first, followed by gut challenges, then immune and respiratory issues, then missed or disorganized motor milestones. Each is a warning sign of a stressed nervous system, not a normal phase kids outgrow.
  • INSiGHT Scans — measuring thermal patterns, surface EMG, and heart rate variability — provide objective, scan-based evidence of nervous system stress. For parents who’ve been dismissed or told “it’s genetic,” seeing that data is often the first moment of real validation.

Why Do Behavioral Strategies Fail Some Children?

When a child knows exactly what to do — can recite the rules, explain the strategies, name their feelings — but still melts down over a spilled cup of water, it isn’t a behavior problem. It’s a neurology problem. Nervous System Dysregulation interferes with the brain’s ability to translate knowledge into action. No amount of behavioral reinforcement, reward charts, or consequence systems can bridge that gap, because the underlying neurological wiring is dysregulated.

Teresa, a school social worker and behavior specialist with years of experience running a therapeutic day school for students with significant social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, learned this the hard way — with her own son. She had applied every evidence-based behavior modification tool she knew. Her son Xander had the knowledge. He could recite the strategies perfectly. And he still couldn’t use them when it mattered. When she finally connected with PX Docs and saw Xander’s INSiGHT Scans, she had her first real answer: his nervous system was overwhelmed, and his behavior was a byproduct of that dysregulation, not a choice.

For parents who have exhausted behavior therapy, dietary changes, and conventional medicine, this distinction is more than clinical — it’s the difference between blaming yourself and finally having a plan. Neurologically-Focused Chiropractic Care targets the root-level nervous system dysfunction that makes regulation impossible, so that the skills a child already has can finally connect to their actions.

Teresa’s Professional Background and Why Behavior Modification Wasn’t Enough [00:02:00 – 07:00]

Dr. Tony Ebel, DC, CACCP: All right, parents, welcome to another episode of the Experience Miracles podcast. Today I have a guest who is as impressive professionally as she is as a mom. Teresa is a school social worker by training and became a behavior specialist for a school district for many years. Most recently she’s a school administrator overseeing a therapeutic day school — an alternative high school for students with significant social, emotional, and behavioral challenges. And she’s also a mom of two boys, Xander and Zeke, who have their own story. Teresa, let our audience know your background, and then roll right into the struggle part of the story.

Teresa: I primarily worked with students with significant social, emotional, and behavioral challenges — often students with diagnoses like autism. Within that, I became an expert in behavior. I was a behavior specialist for many years.

When I started seeing challenges with my oldest son Xander, my instinct was to apply those behavior modification strategies — do what I know best. And I quickly realized I needed something more. What’s so hard as a parent is figuring out whether to lead with your brain or your heart when your child is having behavior challenges.

Dr. Tony: Where was that point for you where you recognized that something deeper was going on — that this was more than an outside-in approach could fix?

Teresa: Xander knows every self-regulation strategy possible. His teachers always commented on how bright he is — how once he’s calm, he knows exactly the right thing to say and do. He can tell you any day of the week: small problem, small reaction, big problem, big reaction. But he wasn’t applying it.

In December, I went to his parent-teacher conference. His teacher didn’t know my background. She handed me a referral for understanding Illinois’s social-emotional learning standards. I could read those standards backwards and forwards — I was already doing everything in them. It was divine timing. I had already been following a patient advocate from PWC on Instagram, and that very night, one of the reels she shared featured a child with challenges very similar to Xander’s. And I took the risk.

Dr. Tony: Parents, that road to finding hope, answers, and drug-free help is traveled with both your heart and your head. Teresa, was the science side important to you before you made the call?

Teresa: I read quite a bit on your website. I referenced a previous podcast you did with Tracy — the one about the Perfect Storm specifically. I’m wired for evidence. I needed the science behind this, the facts behind what the Perfect Storm is and what children experience. That gave me enough concrete grounding to say: okay, let’s take this risk.

Xander’s Perfect Storm: Connecting the Dots No One Else Connected [00:08:00 – 13:00]

Dr. Tony: Let’s go to Xander’s case history. We know about the behavior challenges and the overwhelm. What about the basic health picture — the Perfect Storm clues? What was pregnancy like, labor and delivery, and what was Xander like as a baby?

Teresa: My first phone call with Dr. Jonah at PWC was the first time anyone had asked me real, deep, historical questions. And as Jonah was asking them, light bulbs started going off for me.

I had always thought about Xander’s sensory and behavior challenges in isolation. But as those questions came, I started to realize that everything was intertwined. Around two and a half to three years old, Xander had incredibly dark circles under his eyes. I brought it up to his pediatrician and was told: “Oh, it’s genetic. Look at his dad.” And I believed it — because I trusted that recommendation the way parents trust medical professionals.

Dr. Jonah started asking those deeper, historical questions, and for the first time I saw the relationship between what Xander was externalizing behaviorally and the dark circles, the constipation, the bed-wetting, the horrible eczema. Nobody had ever helped me make that connection — until the right person asked the right questions.

As for the Perfect Storm: I was induced with him. He had many ear infections as a young child. Many rounds of antibiotics. There were a lot of factors.

“I started to realize that there probably was a relationship between what I was seeing Xander externalize, as well as the dark circles, the constipation, the bed-wetting, the horrible eczema. Nobody had ever helped me make that connection until the right person was asking the right questions.”

Dr. Tony: That’s the job — the first job. Ask the questions, take the time. Most doctors don’t. So they’re never going to find the root cause. If you accept “dark circles — oh, it’s genetic” and close the loop there, you’ll never look for answers.

Once we start asking those historical questions, we go all the way back to pregnancy and conception, because the nervous system — where behavior challenges and sensory challenges originate — is built during the most sensitive and critical periods of neurodevelopment. Those periods happen long before preschool. Long before toddler age. So when you start to see those challenges rear their heads at two, three, four, five years old when a child needs to be calm and regulated in transitions and social situations — there are neurological mechanisms that have been at play for a long time.

Parents, take this home: any provider worth seeing will ask the tough, granular, historical questions. That’s how you know they care enough to find the root cause.

The INSiGHT Scans: Seeing the Nervous System for the First Time [00:14:00 – 17:00]

Dr. Tony: What do you remember about sitting across from Dr. Jonah and seeing those neurological stress scans — the thermal, the EMG, the HRV? As a parent with your professional background, what did you see? What did you understand?

Teresa: That will be a day I will always remember. It was the most validated I’ve ever felt.

My training told me behavior was either a skill deficit or a behavioral choice. If it was a skill deficit, I’d teach it away. I used every strategy possible to teach Xander something different. He had the knowledge — but couldn’t apply it. So then I shifted to thinking it must be a behavioral choice, and I reinforced him toward something different. Those reinforcement plans didn’t work either.

When Dr. Jonah explained those scans to me, it was the first time I felt like there was something that could be solved — and that I wasn’t failing. I didn’t care what came next. I just found so much safety in knowing that there was something to work on.

Dr. Tony: Those are my favorite moments to hear. We train for exactly that — guiding parents to the point on the map where it says: now you’re validated, now your hope is restored, now this makes sense, and now you have a plan.

Every report of findings I’ve ever done, even with the most dysregulated nervous system scans I’ve seen — I’ve never once presented those findings without complete enthusiasm and confidence. Because we found it. And we have a plan to do something about it. The moment we finish that report, it’s on us to get those adjustments going.

“It was the most validated I’ve ever felt. It was the first time I felt like there was hope that there was something that could be solved — and not something that I was failing at.”

Xander’s First Weeks in Care: What Changed and Why It Matters [00:18:00 – 22:00]

Dr. Tony: Walk us through the first couple of weeks of care with Xander. What were the initial responses you saw?

Teresa: The first thing we noticed — and when you have big-picture challenges, you sometimes forget about all of them — is that bedtime had been taking us up to two hours most nights. He simply could not calm down enough to relax and fall asleep. Within the first two weeks of adjustments, we had 20-minute bedtimes. And that in itself said everything. He was at peace.

When family members would say “he’s just a big personality, this is who he is” — that wasn’t good enough for me. Because he may have a big personality. But the shame and embarrassment he felt after a meltdown is not who he is. He shouldn’t have to carry that.

He became much more able to apply what I’d already been trying to teach him. One example: I’d always taught him “small problem, small reaction, big problem, big reaction.” We hadn’t been very successful at applying it. Then driving to PWC one morning, he spilled water on himself — which would normally have been a catastrophe. Unpredicted, a mistake he made, cold and uncomfortable. And he said, “Mom, I spilled water on myself.” I was already calculating: I’ll have to turn around, stop at Walmart, my whole morning is chaos. Then there was a pause. And he said, “But it’s a small problem and it’ll dry.”

I walked into PWC crying that morning. That was only about three weeks into care.

“He said, ‘But it’s a small problem and it’ll dry.’ And it was the first time there was an actual connection between his ability to regulate and apply the knowledge he already had.”

Dr. Tony: What about gut and immune — the eczema, the dark circles?

Teresa: His eczema almost entirely disappeared. And the dark circles — the ones I had been told were genetic — they’re gone. His smile got brighter because he’s more proud of himself. And now I know those dark circles were entirely tied to his gut challenges all along.

Dr. Tony: A dysregulated nervous system won’t show up first as behavior issues. It shows up as sleep challenges, constipation, and immune challenges. The conventional pediatrician dismisses those as “normal — they’ll grow out of it.” They don’t grow out of it. It’s a dysregulated nervous system showing you the first signs of distress.

Zeke’s Story: A Younger Brother Following the Same Path [00:23:00 – 28:00]

Dr. Tony: Let’s talk about Zeke. Pregnancy, labor, case history so far.

Teresa: Zeke wasn’t induced, and pregnancy seemed better than Xander’s. With Xander, I had preeclampsia — another light bulb, in retrospect. I thought: I’ve learned so much. Zeke’s going to be different.

Very quickly, though, he started getting ear infections. His first one came at four months old — very similar to Xander. The doctors wanted antibiotics right away and encouraged tubes early. We didn’t go that route immediately.

He also doesn’t crawl in a typical pattern. We call him Scooter — he scoots and is very lopsided, which lines up with the one ear that’s consistently infected. And his speech is significantly delayed compared to where Xander was. At over a year old, he hadn’t said “mama” yet. He needed help. He’s now getting adjusted and he’s playing catch-up. His body is healing.

Dr. Tony: The neurodevelopment sequencing you just touched on — let’s break that down for parents.

It starts with sleep. A brand new baby spends most of their day sleeping, eating, and pooping. When they’re colicky, don’t sleep well, don’t soothe well, don’t eat well, and don’t poop well — those are not signs of typical baby digestive distress. That is a sign of an overstressed nervous system. They don’t grow out of it. They grow into gut issues, constipation, eczema. The gut and immune are connected. So:

Sleep is the first thing off track. The gut is the second. The immune system and respiratory system are the third. And then at four, six, eight, ten months — when they’re supposed to be doing tummy time, rolling, sitting, and crawling smoothly — you get the fourth sign: missed or disorganized motor milestones. Zeke’s asymmetrical scooting is exactly that.

When you take those four things to a conventional pediatrician — sleep challenges, gut challenges, immune challenges, and missed motor milestones — you get told: “Don’t worry, they’ll grow out of it. It’s genetic. It’s normal.” Parents, if that doesn’t land for you and your gut says there’s something more — that’s the right instinct.

Teresa: Something that gave me enormous confidence as a mother was being able to say: this is a byproduct of a dysregulated nervous system. Not “he’s choosing this.” Not “I’m failing as a parent.” That framework changed everything — and more people need to know it.

Dr. Tony: If you don’t have that explanation — that it’s a dysregulated nervous system that went through the Perfect Storm and got off track — you’re going to wear it. As a parent, you’ll think it’s something you did. And with Teresa’s background, that was doubly painful, because everything she’d been trained to do, she was already doing. And she was still running into a wall. That, in itself, is a sign. It has to be the nervous system.

What Chiropractic in Schools Could Look Like [00:30:00 – 37:00]

Dr. Tony: You’re in school administration. You see what behavioral and emotional challenges cost — in time, resources, student potential. If you could mix your expertise in behavior modification with what you’ve now seen chiropractic do for kids like Xander and Zeke — what does that look like at scale?

Teresa: It would be life-changing for all stakeholders. Parents would have a different kid coming home. Students would be able to access their learning — to actually be available to take in information. Milestones and goals would be met at a much faster pace.

But what matters most to me is what I see in Xander. The way he carries himself now is so different from eight months ago. If every child — every student — had the opportunity to hold their head up a little higher and sit up a little bit straighter… Because there is a piece of shame that comes with challenging behaviors, and that shame is removed when you treat it as an actual problem, not a choice. Students would be available to learn. And they’d be happier and more proud of themselves.

Dr. Tony: Access. Availability. That’s the goal. Not just getting through the bad stuff — the constipation, the meltdowns, the sleep deprivation. The real goal is what comes after that. Full optimal potential.

When a child is thriving — when they’re calm, regulated, with a strong immune system and the ability to handle small and large situations without being overwhelmed — it actually looks irregular in today’s world. Teresa, you said it perfectly.

Teresa: We’ve had people say, “You’re so lucky.” And I understand that perspective. Because a child with that level of self-confidence, inner calm, and regulation ability stands out. It’s not seen that often anymore.

Dr. Tony: Adaptability. Resilience. That’s what our kids need more than anything — especially right now, when they’re up against more technology, more toxicity, more chaos. Parents, when you’re tired, when you’re struggling, when you feel like you’ve got one hope card left — play it with Neurologically-Focused Chiropractic Care. Our science is different. Our clinical approach is different. And our goal is different. We’re not just going for “get rid of the bad stuff.” We’re going for Xander and Zeke living full, untapped potential lives.

“If every child had the opportunity to hold their head up a little higher and sit up a little bit straighter — because there is a piece of shame that comes with challenging behaviors, and that shame is removed when you treat it as an actual problem, not a choice.”

Teresa: Share it. I talk to everyone about it. Everyone in my family and community has seen the change in Xander. He looks exceptional. Everyone is asking questions. If I can share this gift and give other parents the reassurance I had — and give that gift to their children — I’m here for it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does my child know the right strategies but still can’t use them during a meltdown?

When a child can explain self-regulation strategies perfectly but can’t apply them in a stressful moment, it’s often a sign of Nervous System Dysregulation — not a behavioral deficit or willful choice. A dysregulated nervous system interferes with the brain’s ability to translate knowledge into action. No amount of reinforcement or behavior modification can fix a wiring problem at the neurological level. This is why Neurologically-Focused Chiropractic Care often produces changes that behavior therapy alone cannot.

What are the signs that a child’s behavior challenges might be rooted in nervous system stress?

Dr. Tony Ebel describes four neurological soft signs that appear in sequence: sleep difficulties, gut problems (constipation, colic, reflux), immune or respiratory challenges (frequent ear infections, eczema, asthma), and missed or disorganized motor milestones. When these appear together — and when behavior challenges show up later — the root cause is likely Sympathetic Dominance and nervous system dysregulation, not a behavioral or developmental disorder in isolation.

Are dark circles, eczema, and constipation really connected to behavior challenges?

Yes, according to Dr. Tony Ebel. These physical symptoms are not separate problems — they are expressions of the same underlying Nervous System Dysregulation. The gut and immune system are both regulated by the autonomic nervous system. When the nervous system is in a state of chronic stress, gut function, skin integrity, immune response, and behavioral regulation all suffer together. As the nervous system begins to heal — through chiropractic care addressing the root neurological dysfunction — these physical symptoms often improve alongside behavioral changes.

How quickly do children typically respond to Neurologically-Focused Chiropractic Care?

Response time varies by child, severity, and how early care begins. In Xander’s case, his bedtime routine dropped from two hours to 20 minutes within the first two weeks of adjustments. His eczema nearly disappeared and his emotional regulation improved noticeably by the third week. Dr. Tony Ebel emphasizes that younger children — like Xander’s brother Zeke — typically respond faster, because there is less accumulated neurological stress to work through.

How do INSiGHT Scans help diagnose nervous system dysfunction in children?

INSiGHT Scans measure three aspects of nervous system function: thermal patterns (showing autonomic regulation along the spine), surface EMG (measuring muscle tension and neurological tone), and HRV — heart rate variability (reflecting the balance between sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system function). Together, these scans give clinicians objective, data-driven evidence of nervous system stress — helping parents see, often for the first time, that their child’s challenges have a measurable physiological basis.

How do I find a Neurologically-Focused Chiropractor trained in the PX Docs approach?

The PX Docs directory lists trained practitioners across the country. You can search by location to find a clinician near you.

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